GOING GREEN (continued)
So I was doing this. With Conner. While he had Trish and I had Becker. Okay, I didn’t have Becker. But I could have had him. But instead I was sneaking out nearly every night and hooking up with my neighbor. It could have been a trashy reality T.V. show. But it was my life.
Brandi stopped talking to me altogether. I didn’t blame her. I stood her brother up. And even though no one said anything, I think they all knew about me and Conner. In fact, Trish made it a point to shoulder bump me into the locker every chance she got. But I didn’t say anything. Not just because I didn’t want her to kick my ass in front of the school again, but because I knew I was wrong. But I couldn’t stop.
I loved him.
“Are you going to prom?” Conner asked as we lay in the grass in my backyard. My father wouldn’t be home from work for a couple of hours, but the minute Conner would hear his car, he’d hop the back fence.
“Doubt it.” Oh my God. Was he going to ask me to prom? My heart began to race.
“That’s probably good.”
I turned to him. “Good?” I felt it. That sickness that sometimes washed over me when I was with him.
“Yeah,” he said, continuing to watch the clouds. “Because I’ll be there with Trish. I wouldn’t want you to feel weird.”
“I see Trish everyday.” My breathing was speeding up.
“True,” he said, like he was thinking it over. “But I wouldn’t want you to get jealous or anything. Say something stupid.”
I might puke.
He looked at me. “Hey,” he put his finger on my cheek. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”